Judge John Hodgman on Taking the Chargers

Alissa writes: Please order my husband to keep his hands off our chargers! He frequently leaves his charger somewhere and takes any charger in the house — even if it is labeled with my name or our daughter’s! He argues that chargers belong to everyone.

I am home alone this summer for work, with only my shows, and I’ve discovered a remarkable phenomenon: Everything stays in the same place. Not just chargers, which our children steal so relentlessly that I think maybe they eat them? But also remotes, hair brushes, food — everything! This may sound wonderful to you, but being the sole source of entropy in a closed system gets haunting at 2 a.m. That’s when I pray to the darkness for anyone to please steal my charger, if only to prove that I am not the last human on a dead Earth. But on your planet, yeah: He needs to get his act together and knock it off.